funny confessions

Last night the cashier says to me, "Strip down, facing me" How was I supposed to know she meant my debit card. Now I'm banned from Wal-Mart and have a record for public nudity
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My spirit animal should be coming off the grill around 4pm.A bunch of my friends are coming over tonight to play on their phones.I had so much coffee I made it to work in under 4 minutes but I forgot to bring my car.
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