funny confessions

I once was so drunk, I hugged my shower and asked it to stop crying...
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I called the restaurant I was at to order another beer. People say I'm lazy...Well, that was awkward. I was just about to hug someone extremely attractive and I walked right into the mirror.It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. That's why I don't go out there. I stay in here where it's a man-eat-cake world.
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